The Missing Ones
by el Cierto
Summary: When Sai couldn't move his hand to make even a sratch on his canvas... What happen?  Oneshot. SaiNaruSasu. Friendship


**Naruto (c) Masashi Kishimoto**

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**PAINFUL**

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**1st POV (Sai), Minim dialogue, Maybe OOC**

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Painting was my life, or at least that was I thought about it.

As long as I could remember, I had been using the brush onto canvas to express everything I felt. It was so… me…

But look at me now. I was pathetic. I really was.

Moreover able to paint a beautiful object or landscape—things that I used to take—I even could not move my hand to make any scratch!

I took a deep breath then released it slowly as the wind caressed my face. And suddenly, I was aware about the place I was sitting at. It was a very large grassland near a small lake located in the east of Konoha.

The place that had become my most memorable spot for years, especially since I had known about a certain blonde named Naruto Uzumaki.

I couldn't help myself to smile at recalling his name. Even though, the next thing I got after that was a painful feeling like a stab on my heart.

Oh God, even after years had gone by, I still couldn't ease it.

Naruto had once been my best friend. And actually he always was, until now if I just not so stupid leaving him behind.

But I could not stay longer around him, say I was fine like there was nothing happened. Because indeed, there were many things happened between us. And those made a bond that had build, destroyed—or at least I thought so.

Naruto was cheerful and high-spirited person. His wide grin became his patent mark. Only by his presence, the dark room would be bright. He was loud and outspoken. He addressed every people so casually. Thing that made him close to everybody, then finally… me.

The first meeting him, I felt nothing but considered him as an idiot. I was kind of broken, after all. I was hurt by my precious best friend who just left me, Shin. The one that I had considered as my brother but suddenly he lost of my sight and left nothing. I even could not text him anymore. I lost him without knowing what actually made him disappear.

And then, Naruto came with all of his glory, pulling me close to his world. He opened my eyes again. Encouraged me so I was not afraid to be friend with others.

As the time went by we became closer and closer till finally we declared as brothers on this grassland. It was a beautiful evening, with golden shade on the west side of the sky when we made it. We promised that no matter what happened we would always be best friend, forever. It seemed too good to be true.

Naruto who had always accompany me to paint anything in this grassland, then decided that he would like to learn about painting from me. Of course I glad for it. With all of my heart I taught him anything he wanted to know about painting.

Later I made Naruto joined the Painters, a club of independent painters in Konoha. And eventually, the predicament began from this club. It was when Naruto met Sasuke, my senior.

I was not expecting anything about them. I was okay to know Naruto could be getting along with Sasuke. I was still okay when I found Naruto often met Sasuke and learn about another painting technique from him. I was even still okay when I found that Naruto's painting became so similar with Sasuke's. I was still okay.

I began to not okay a certain day, that was his birthday.

Considered that he was my best friend and even my godbrother, I decided to give a best painting as a gift for him. Even thought at the time I was not too fit because of my flue, I just ignored it.

I still remembered how I hard I've been tried to finish my painting right before October 10, his birthday. While making it I was imagining his wide grin and cheerful expression. I couldn't help myself to smile when I ran to his apartment to give him my gift.

Eagerly I knocked on his door, ignored the fact that it was already close to midnight. I just too excited because it was my first attempt to give a birthday gift to someone. I, actually, ever trying to make like this one for Shin, but he was vanished before I even met him.

So, that was I, knocked the door and called out for Naruto's name so loudly. And indeed, it might too loud because then a bearded man, I knew he named Asuma, who was Naruto neighbour, came out from his apartment and looked very annoyed. He scolded me for being so noisy at that late night.

"Geez! Boy! What are you doing?"

"Oh, sorry Asuma-san, but I was trying to wake Naruto up."

"To wake him up?" Asuma frowned.

"Yes. By midnight, Naruto will be 20. So, I am trying to wake him up and give my special gift and wishing him a happy birthday."

Asuma frowned even deeper. "Are you really his friend?"

I stared in wonder to the man before me. "Of course I am. Why do you ask?"

"Nothing. I just found it's a bit weird for a boy act so emotionally only for wishing his friend happy birthday. You know, people may thought you two are a lover."

"Asuma-san! What kind of thought is that. Of course we weren't. Bytheway, I'm kinda wonder why Naruto hasn't opened the door yet."

Suddenly Asuma laughed and I only could stared at him.

"Aa, I almost forgot, boy! Naruto was out since this evening."

"He's out?"

Asuma nodded. "Yeach. I saw him with a young man who looks like you, but with kind of chicken-butt hair style."

"Oh? I see…" I could not hide my disappointment. Deep inside my heart there was a pang which felt so hurt.

"Boy? Are you okay?" Asuma's voice snapped me back to reality.

"Huh?"

"You look shocked."

I shook my head and forced a sheer smile. "Aa, nothing. Okay, Asuma-san, since I can't meet Naruto, would you like to do me a favor?"

"What is it?"

I lift my painting that I cover in a big flat box and gave it to Asuma. "Please give this to Naruto when he come home."

Asuma nodded and accepted it. "Okay. Anything else?"

I shook my head. "Nothing, just that. Okay then, Asuma-san, thank you. I should go now."

"Hnn, becareful boy!"

I nodded. "My name is Sai anyway. Thank you." I bowed a little before taking steps away.

Along the way to home, I could not help myself to not feel sad. After everything I've tried, was it I have to receive? And the fact that Naruto spent the night with Sasuke, even made me felt worse.

I could not close my eyes for the rest of that night. I decide to phone Naruto then. But it was even worse because it was not Naruto who accepted my phone, but Sasuke. And the thing he said, that Naruto was drunk and would sleep in his home succeed to make slump deeper into disappointment.

The next morning I woke up and felt kind of dizzy. When I rubbed a hand on my forehead I felt warmer. Oh crap! My flue just came back again.

As I lied in bed and stared onto ceiling, my memories with Naruto came, rolled in my brain like a film. I smiled bitterly.

"_What are you doing now, Naruto? Because of you I'm sick and still you even not realize it and forget me already!"_

I took a deep breath and released it slowly. My body was felt so weak, my tongue was bitter and my eyes were watery. But the worst of that was my mind, my heart.

I didn't know, but I began to feel so lonely. This was the feeling that I feared very much before Naruto helped me to overcome it. But now, I thought it began to rise again. And ironically, it was cause by the same person who had helped me to push it away.

That day was gone with me being in bed without Naruto's voice. I thought bitterly, that he was still busy with Sasuke and forgot me. So, yeach, I had to accept that fact no matter what.

The next day, when I got a bit better, I phoned him. I was a bit relieved when it was him that took the phone, not Sasuke anymore.

"Yo! Sai! Where had you been yesterday eh? Why you not show up to celebrate my birthday?"

_Baka! I've already came but you've left with him!_ "Aa, I got flue. Sorry." That was my reply. I could not scold him no matter what.

"_Hontou ni_? So, how are you now? Are you feeling better? Why you not tell me that you're sick?"

"I've phoned you yesterday morning. Sasuke received it though. He said you were drunk and sleeping in his home." I tried hard to say it with a normal tone.

"Oh! Yeach… hahaha. Gomen ne. I drank too much sake when Sasuke took me to a café on the west Konoha. I never knew that he would celebrate my birthday."

"Hnn." I hold my phone tight till my knuckles whitened. "By the way, Naruto, have you seen my gift for you?"

"Oh My! I forgot! Oh Sai! Sorry I forgot about that. Yesterday I came home late and already exhausted when Asuma-san gave it to me. So, yach, you know then, I forgot it. Okay, I will see it. Thank you very much ne."

The pain that seemed fade away as the day passed by, suddenly hit my heart again. "Hnn…Well, see you then." With that I close the phone and throw the phone on to the night table carelessly.

Suddenly the phone rang loudly, and without seeing the caller I knew it was from Naruto because I set a special ringtone for him.

I just let it rang without willing to take it. I was disappointed with him.

I close my eyes when it stopped to ring only to open again when it rang once more. This time it was longer, but I still not in the mood of receiving it.

I felt I was dream when I heard Naruto's loud voice calling for my name. But after a few moments staring onto ceiling and the voice still cracking the air, I suddenly realized that it was not dream. Naruto was outside my apartment. Making noise with his loud voice and hand knocking the door very hard.

"SAI! OPEN THE DOOR!" came his voice again as I walked to open the door.

His wide grin was the first thing I looked when the door finally opened.

"Hi! Sai! Hehehe…"

"You're very annoying, Naruto!"

"That's your fault. Why you just close the phone? You angry?"

"Urusai!"

"Sai, I'm really sorry about yesterday. I can't help it. Sorry."

"…"

"And I really like your gift. It's a very beautiful painting. Thank you very much, Sai."

"…" I still didn't know what I had to said.

"Sai, say something, please."

"Forget it," finally came my short reply.

Naruto grinned. "Okay. I will, but I won't forget about your gift anyway, hehehe. So, what's your plan today?"

"Nothing."

"How if you come with me helping Sasuke for his exhibition in Kiri?"

"Help him?"

"Ya! He needs help for his first exhibition in Kiri. Didn't he tell you? I think all members of the Painters knew about it."

I shook my head. "It's been quite a while I didn't talk with him. You know, we're in different sight."

"Ya. So? Do you want to help?"

"You will, won't you?"

Naruto grinned. "Yeach, I can't help it. It was interesting, so yes I will help him."

"Okay, then I will too. When it began?"

"Tomorrow! Yes, Sai, thank you." Naruto suddenly hugged me. He seemes so happy, for Sasuke?

The thought give a pang in my heart, again.

And then, ignoring my uneasiness of heart that I felt for Sasuke, I helped him to prepare everything needed for his exhibition in Kiri. It was a huge exhibition. He would show his best paintings for it.

During preparation, when the break time came, I could saw that Naruto was so much closer to Sasuke, much closer than before, much closer than I thought. The way they spoke to each other remind me of a couple. _Impossible_. _Naruto won't be like that!_

It was lunch time when we together got a break to enjoy the meal that had been ordered by Sasuke. Beside me and Naruto, there are four members of the Painters came for help. They were Sasori, Deidara, Hidan and Suigetsu.

I was about to take my first piece of food in my bento when I heard Suigetsu said something really annoyed me although it was supposed to be a joke.

"Un, _minna-san._ Ya know what makes wonder these days?" Deidara began to speak.

"What is it, Dei?" Sasory asked plainly.

"Un, that Sasuke has changed so much since Naruto's coming."

"Yeach! You're right, Dei. Before Naruto comes, he was very cold and rare to smile. But now, he was so much friendly. They are even so close like a couple." Suigetsu said without thinking. After all, the homosexual was no more a taboo in this club since Dei and Sasori was a couple too. And Suigetsu himself, he was with Juugo.

"Guess that's right. We have to just wait for them to official it, ne?" Hidan said.

Prangg!

Suddenly, without I realized it, my chopsticks fell on to the floor.

"Yo! Sai! Your chopstick fall down. Guess, there'll be someone treat you dinner!" Hidan said, laughing. And the rest also laughing with him.

I forced myself to smile. "What kind of saying is that?"

Without I realized again, Hiddan suddenly sat by my side and pulled my shoulder closer to him.

"It's a kind of traditional belief. And, I may make it true. What do you think?" Hidan smiled widely. He was a handsome guy, but no, I was normal to receive such invitation.

"Aa, excuse me, Hidan-senpai, I should wash my chopstick now." With that, I pushed away his hand that was on my shoulder and rose up then walked to the basin in the kitchen.

...

After the exhibition, I had to face the fact that Naruto was, indeed, very close to Sasuke. He often stayed at the raven haired guy's home. He spent more time with Sasuke more than with me. Naruto's painting even became one school with Sasuke.

By the new year, I had already so far with Naruto. We seldom to phone or text each other like we used to be. We seldom to talk. And when we met, there is no long conversation like before. Yea, everything has changed.

There was nothing I could do to prevent the appearance of gap between Naruto and I. No matter I want to be close with him like before, I knew I couldn't make it. Because it was clear that Naruto had found his true bond. And that was not with me. It was with Sasuke. Even though Naruto still cared with me, but it was nothing compared to his care for Sasuke. I didn't know they were a couple or not. I didn't want to mind anymore.

The feeling that I was losing Naruto as my best and closest friend, made me so emotional. I even cried in silent at night when I though how I had lost him after all the things we did together in the past. After the promise we made.

And with that, on a certain day I left Konoha silently. I could not see him so close with other than me. And to avoid any more pain, I thought moving was the best way.

The day I left Konoha, was the day when my bond with Naruto was ended. I never heard anything about him anymore for a couple of years.

Until one day, suddenly someone that I never expected to come in front of me, Sasuke Uchiha, came to meet me. He looked so sad and I could not help to wonder what happened to him with that look.

The thing he said later just so succeed to crush my world shattered into pieces.

Naruto had died!

And Sasuke's coming was for fulfilling Naruto's request, that was giving his last letter to me.

**==FIN==**

**A/N: it's been quite a while i leave my fave chara, Sai, in writing fanfict. So i decided to make a new one. And this is it. But, well, sorry for typo(s) and grammatical error.**


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